My last weekend of maternity leave... and dilemmas.

This weekend brings the end of my maternity leave. I'm still not mentally ready to go back but who is? It's still surreal. Ashton is 3 months old and I was lucky enough to be able to take vacation time to get me through the Christmas holiday. I wish I could stay at home and watch him grow but at the same time I honestly think I would go nuts, especially on those days that Ashton is screaming at the top of his lungs and I have no idea why! Of course, being the pediatric dietitian I am, I start with the thermometer to make sure there is no fever. Of course that is never the case... knock on wood, so far! My BIG dilemma is that I am still not into a daycare. My first choice and best chance of getting in (given that I was on their wait list in February!) was right next door to work and perfect in the sense that I could walk over at lunch and nurse him... well, they are victims of our economic crisis and will be closing their doors June of 2009 and are no longer accepting new enrollments. Unfortunately for me, I was at the top of their list and now am SOL on daycare. So, now I am going crazy trying to figure out if I should put Ashton in a daycare that has availability but not the best word of mouth. I am having a hard time saying sure. I'd rather take unpaid leave from work if I can. So I will be going day by day, week by week. Matt fortunately is working half-days next week, so I will work the late shift to get us through next week. I have no idea what to do the week of January 5th. And my Mom will be able to fly out to help us out except she needs a 2 week advance notice for her work. But with all this stress, I know it will all work out in the end. Ashton will get into a daycare without me having to compromise too much and with time we will get him into one that I will love.